Apocalypse Then As we journeyed on through the oppressive woodland I reflected on how it all began. At first I thought they had given me the wrong Tabula, Marius Brandonicus was Prima Pilus. I mean real quality. He had been Tribune at 25 then leader of the XIIII special ops Cohort, Crona Civillus 4 times a chest full of phaelari and torques. A war record that should have made him a hero but here I was being asked to locate him and kill him. They said he'd gone rogue, gone over to the enemy, gone Native! It didn't make sense. I spent that night working out my tensions, that's a euphemism for getting real dirty drunk. In the morning I went to meet the contiburnia that was to help me get to where he was. As we headed out to the border I reviewed the tablets he was somewhere in hairy Germania, with the Teutones. We went to a naval fort to meet our transport up river. The centurio in charge was a bear of a man who insisted on wearing an odd style broad brimmed hat with a yellow focale all his men had copied the style, seemed that discipline in this galley squadron was different. "Welcome to the elite boys" shouted the centurion "what you've got here is river mobile". "Just pick your shore and we'll drop you off " I told him we needed to get to Teutone territory . "Teutone lands huh? Hey optio what's the surf like on this point?" he stabbed a finger down on his charts "Well sir its got a great double kick from the tidal part of the river and this tributary running in over a shallow bed" I had to know at this point what the Hades they where on about. "Its surfing praetorian, surfing…. You get a scutum and then ride the waves on it man" "There's one thing though sir" said the optio interrupting the explanation, "That's Herrman's point ya' know?" "Yep but Herrman don't surf man, Herrman don't surf." This seemed to decide the issue as the optio went off and started getting our gear stowed and the squadron ready to move out. As the water slipped away underneath us I could hear the Portus' hit "riders on the storm" being played, turns out that the centurion had a full band on each ship. "scares the Hades outta the hairy's man when we go into battle they play real loud y'know? Good fighting stuff like paint it black or charge of the victories" I was told when I asked why. After a few days we were in sight of the point. The galleys grounded out on the shoreline. As the marines leapt ashore and began to fan out the tree line suddenly erupted with sling shots and naked crazy eyed Germans rushing forwards the centurion didn't seem phased at all he just kept yelling for more music and striding up and down the furious battle line. After a few minuets he stopped pacing and called his optio over "get out there and start surfing" he bawled. "But sir this is a hot point." " Damn it all I said surf now get out there on that scutum." "Sir yes sir." "Signaller to me, signal the artillery fire mission grid XII by VII fire for effect" Within moments there was the crack and then whistle of the artillery pounding away behind us then the whole tree line exploded into flame. "I love the smell of naphtha in the morning smells like…victory. " shouted the centurio over the din of battle then turning to me he said "Now you praetorian get your gear and ship out whilst we keep them busy." We grabbed our cart, mule and gear and did like the man said. (Note this is the text translated so far from a series of birch letter wafers found on the site of the Germania veterans Association building in Herculaneum. )